He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
