I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
