i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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