belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
