awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He shit in the fireplace
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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