I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
