I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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