Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
