I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
