Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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