her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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