Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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