Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I checked into jail on foursquare
Im just a social blackout drinker.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
