Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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