I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
