every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
