Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
