you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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