I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
