I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
