I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
