oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
