D3 body, D1 cock
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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