Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Hippo gnu deer
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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