i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Farmville is her only friend.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
