I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
