Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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