i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
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The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
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Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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