I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I got inside last night via doggy door
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
