they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
