i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
