well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
