There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
