It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
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Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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