At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
please don't ironically join a cult
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