I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
