the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
