I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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