i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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