I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I enjoy the company of your penis
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
