I wanna passion pit in your ass
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
