No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
