i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
