Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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