Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
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