Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Never underestimate the power of titties
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize