No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
