some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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