I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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