the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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