Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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