I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Randomize