"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
