You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
