You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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