did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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