i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
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So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
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Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize