What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
