And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize