remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
