She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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