Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I looked at my own cervix.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
