I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
