Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
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When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
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We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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